selfish

i'm home early today. surprising. cuz my baby have to go for bs at ntu. so here i am. :)
another exciting-but-i-dun-like-it day. feels like i send my guy off to another girl, not knowing wat she will do to him. but seriously after wat he msged me, everything feels so wrong. not that i dun trust him, but one day if he goes missing and gets engulf by her (think: white blood cell engulfing foreign particles), the first thing i'll do is to kick myself and slam myself against the wall.

so wrong so wrong. it feels so so wrong. he felt it too. thank God, he left.
BUT another appointment next tues again.

i knoe i sound like some mad unreasonable woman who wans to control or tie up her man, but i dun wan u to go. my mistake that i actually ask u to go meet her in the first place. i tot it was juz some innocent reunion of secondary sch frens. not that anything bad happened, but it feels WRONG. i know nothing happened, but my heart cant stop pounding like tat.
if the reason for u to go is cuz i'm going sentosa wif wei-tse and u got nth to do... doesn't this make it sound reasonable for me to go out with other guys while u're in NS and i got nth to do?
i knoe i wun do that. so i hope u wun either. not that i dun trust u. but i dun wanna feel uneasy. put me into ur shoes, i'm sure u wun wan me to go either.

i'm sorry if i'm tying u down. but human beings are selfish. especially me. i dun wan tat uneasy feeling to linger in me. :(
scold me if u wan.. but i love this man too much.